Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Hmmm... 2nd time writing this bloody post... veri lazy but determined to blog... haix.. return frm my appeal frm the nanyang poly for my nursing...hmm... just found out tat the appeal dateswere all closed for all polys.. hmm... arggh!! screw it...hmm.. realli hope they would consider my appeal...
i know im a failure to everyone eyes.. well cant blame no one accept myself... i now i disappoint everyone out there esecially my parents... hmm.. ur scasms and advice will neva fail to pull me down even more..yes ma i cry? all i ever given u is sadness and disappoinment... and how i ever treated u with disrespect... how u alwaes put up with my nonsense wif a brave front...ur advices were true... ur expectations were high for me... dun blame u though... i would realli like to change my egotistical ways.. i was so rude tat now i realised u deserved a different daughter... tryin to become a better daughter for u... would realli want u to live 5 mins longer...
[...]i haf told u lies.. and even beat around the bush...the truth finnally unfolds and u become more hurt then ever... A selfish lilttle bitch i call myself... yes i m... couldnt let u down by telling the truth but i realli want u to know wads clouding my mind...we had lil tiffs... n a whole lot of happy times... maybe tats why we didnt open up.. having this plastered smile on my face... how could i? destroy the happy atmostphere? didnt haf the courage to do so... it was me tat didnt open up.. after constantli telling u wad u should do if something is bothering u... tat saying should go to me as well... dun want u to get hurt even more i guess.. tellin me u are hurtin urself wont make me feel any betta... but lying tat u r fine wont even change the fact... its not ur fault we have became like tat... neva ever blame urself... get a grip...i know it will take time...
everyone hates me now...
i let everyone down including u...
take care...
im a failure in everything i do...
i know im a failure to everyone eyes.. well cant blame no one accept myself... i now i disappoint everyone out there esecially my parents... hmm.. ur scasms and advice will neva fail to pull me down even more..yes ma i cry? all i ever given u is sadness and disappoinment... and how i ever treated u with disrespect... how u alwaes put up with my nonsense wif a brave front...ur advices were true... ur expectations were high for me... dun blame u though... i would realli like to change my egotistical ways.. i was so rude tat now i realised u deserved a different daughter... tryin to become a better daughter for u... would realli want u to live 5 mins longer...
[...]i haf told u lies.. and even beat around the bush...the truth finnally unfolds and u become more hurt then ever... A selfish lilttle bitch i call myself... yes i m... couldnt let u down by telling the truth but i realli want u to know wads clouding my mind...we had lil tiffs... n a whole lot of happy times... maybe tats why we didnt open up.. having this plastered smile on my face... how could i? destroy the happy atmostphere? didnt haf the courage to do so... it was me tat didnt open up.. after constantli telling u wad u should do if something is bothering u... tat saying should go to me as well... dun want u to get hurt even more i guess.. tellin me u are hurtin urself wont make me feel any betta... but lying tat u r fine wont even change the fact... its not ur fault we have became like tat... neva ever blame urself... get a grip...i know it will take time...
everyone hates me now...
i let everyone down including u...
take care...
im a failure in everything i do...
what we could have been, 5:29 pm.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Hmmm... Its been Weeks... since i BLog... Wow... OkaY... Its Goin to be a VEry loNg poSt...
weLl... starting wif my results.... i can sae im quite disappointed wif my results but tats how i did... and strangely i haf to accept tat i haf done my best.... OkaY... A D7 for my maths... And and E8 for my history.... IroNy of how much time and effort i spend oN tat stupid subject and how i love it so bloody much... turns out to be my weakest subject... haix... and the best part abt is tat my combined humanities.... i got a B3.... HAhA... Screw HIstoRy but i So love HItler... And All the diCtaTors Frm the past... Like musolinni... stop my blabber... Hmm.. can tell tat my parents were very DisaPPointed in me.... Wif ur scAsM.. no one wiLL feel more doWn tHEn me... Thus the cuTS on mY wrist... U woNT fiND oUt.. I guRantee.... Hmm... TO nuLL... MAybe it was a slip of tOngue tat i sPutter noNSense... Tat i blame u for mY resulTS to bE so bad... BUT... I dun KnOW... i dIDnt meant it As i was juSt so eMotional... Tat dae.. AgaIn i aPOlogies... Truth is.. I only like some of the outcome of my results... i cun blame anyone but myself... and to my dearest friends.... HAs, denise, Ros, and all... CongratS... for doin well... HAha... TAke care Dudes And dudettes....
my JAE.... HMm... THAnk GOd i didnt make it to architecture... SO dUn like the course... Okay... my JAe... Wasnt SuccessFul... Hmm... DIsappointed.. not realli... I dun like the choices tat i was eligible for... Architecture, landscape architecture, and interior design... Hmm... None of the coures haf my slightest intrest... Now still waiting For my DAE at NAnyang..... PLz... Let me get in.... and For MY noT so forgiving Dad... i KNow... U haf lose hope in me... But can u like encourage me a lil Wif that mouth of urs... I cant stand it Wen u speak wen u dun think abt other ppl feelings... HOw i wish to sing the SHUt UP soNG to U one dae... Again i BLEed for u.... n ma. thanks.... vaN... Thanks for ur encouragement...
WorK.. HAd a sicKeninG dae toDae... hMm... it was okay in the morning... Had to do the dirty job of a particular supervisor... Hmm.. (gingerbread man.)... HE walks like one... HAiz... ask me to do his dirty job which lasted almost 2 hours... was complaining at first but gotuse to it.... hmm... Late lunch... Afternoon came wif more typing of letters and calling companies... some were friendli and some were whiny.... "why must pay?","why so MUch ah", "Can iT be deliver By TOdae"... questions of kiasu s'poreans... Hmm... MAybe im like tat too.... Common nowadays.. scolded by thE KPs supervisor for toking and distracting my collegues... wasnt even toking to him... damn u.... any rule for us stating tat we cant tok to our collegues... maybe i was rambling a lot... Or maybe u r just jealous tat i dun speak to u anymore... hehehe.... PMSing... Wif that Glare of urs... u think im scared... HAha... U run away Wen I threw tantrums in the OfFice... F U!!!
to tat someone... maybe im not ready yet.... u care too much for me to let me see u hurt once more... Nura needs time...
weLl... starting wif my results.... i can sae im quite disappointed wif my results but tats how i did... and strangely i haf to accept tat i haf done my best.... OkaY... A D7 for my maths... And and E8 for my history.... IroNy of how much time and effort i spend oN tat stupid subject and how i love it so bloody much... turns out to be my weakest subject... haix... and the best part abt is tat my combined humanities.... i got a B3.... HAhA... Screw HIstoRy but i So love HItler... And All the diCtaTors Frm the past... Like musolinni... stop my blabber... Hmm.. can tell tat my parents were very DisaPPointed in me.... Wif ur scAsM.. no one wiLL feel more doWn tHEn me... Thus the cuTS on mY wrist... U woNT fiND oUt.. I guRantee.... Hmm... TO nuLL... MAybe it was a slip of tOngue tat i sPutter noNSense... Tat i blame u for mY resulTS to bE so bad... BUT... I dun KnOW... i dIDnt meant it As i was juSt so eMotional... Tat dae.. AgaIn i aPOlogies... Truth is.. I only like some of the outcome of my results... i cun blame anyone but myself... and to my dearest friends.... HAs, denise, Ros, and all... CongratS... for doin well... HAha... TAke care Dudes And dudettes....
my JAE.... HMm... THAnk GOd i didnt make it to architecture... SO dUn like the course... Okay... my JAe... Wasnt SuccessFul... Hmm... DIsappointed.. not realli... I dun like the choices tat i was eligible for... Architecture, landscape architecture, and interior design... Hmm... None of the coures haf my slightest intrest... Now still waiting For my DAE at NAnyang..... PLz... Let me get in.... and For MY noT so forgiving Dad... i KNow... U haf lose hope in me... But can u like encourage me a lil Wif that mouth of urs... I cant stand it Wen u speak wen u dun think abt other ppl feelings... HOw i wish to sing the SHUt UP soNG to U one dae... Again i BLEed for u.... n ma. thanks.... vaN... Thanks for ur encouragement...
WorK.. HAd a sicKeninG dae toDae... hMm... it was okay in the morning... Had to do the dirty job of a particular supervisor... Hmm.. (gingerbread man.)... HE walks like one... HAiz... ask me to do his dirty job which lasted almost 2 hours... was complaining at first but gotuse to it.... hmm... Late lunch... Afternoon came wif more typing of letters and calling companies... some were friendli and some were whiny.... "why must pay?","why so MUch ah", "Can iT be deliver By TOdae"... questions of kiasu s'poreans... Hmm... MAybe im like tat too.... Common nowadays.. scolded by thE KPs supervisor for toking and distracting my collegues... wasnt even toking to him... damn u.... any rule for us stating tat we cant tok to our collegues... maybe i was rambling a lot... Or maybe u r just jealous tat i dun speak to u anymore... hehehe.... PMSing... Wif that Glare of urs... u think im scared... HAha... U run away Wen I threw tantrums in the OfFice... F U!!!
to tat someone... maybe im not ready yet.... u care too much for me to let me see u hurt once more... Nura needs time...
what we could have been, 9:08 pm.
